I decided to take it easy today and pick a topic I think we can all agree on. The Girl Scouts of America totally rock. Well, the majority. What prompted this post is my sense of outrageous disbelief about what I have been seeing in the news lately. If someone were to predict even two years ago that America’s little darlings were going to be the target of the almighty wrath of right wing fury we would have laughed and laughed at their clever little joke. As it is, I’m still having a hard time believing these stories are not originating with the Onion.
In case there is anyone who doesn’t know what I’m talking about, the Girl Scouts, a venerable all-American institution devoted to inspiring empowerment, charity, good works, accomplishment, excellent manners, and waist busting cookie sales, are now under attack. The initial crime was the inclusion of a young trans girl who wished to participate in this noble tradition. Oh, how the blood began the boil! “If Jesus were here right now, why he’d turn into that Narnia lion and disembowel not only that little pansy, but all the whoring Jezebels who accepted Satan’s own bugle boy into their midst!” I don’t think that is the direct quote from anyone in particular, but it’s also not very far removed either. For anyone new to this blog, I’m not against people of faith, just the whole concept of employing their god to smite people they happen to disagree with.
Immediately a schism formed after another little girl, also a scout and presumably with great parental encouragement, denounced the GSA in general for their devilish compassionate inclusion and urged us all not to buy cookies. In short, the anti-Scout has arisen among us, dedicated to fear, intolerance, and whatever the opposite of charity is. And a cookie boycott? It would be like Ronald McDonald urging us all to go vegan. I’m pretty sure they would make him give the costume back, so not too sure what is happening here. Even if it doesn’t hurt sales, it’s pretty antithetical to the mission. The GSA is big on heart, maybe not so big on business strategy. They are probably just too nice to give her the boot and make her join the Sunflower Girls with Peter Brady.
A snotty tween mouthing off on YouTube isn’t really such a big deal. After the shocking failure of her pissy rant, the real puppet masters came out, infuriated that the GSA continued on doing exactly what they were founded to do, and sell cookies. Clearly the GSA had been hijacked from a merit badge motivated organization to the powerful enforcement wing of Planned Parenthood dedicated to ensuring that each and every member achieved a viable pregnancy and quickly aborted it, preferably in the third trimester. I don’t even really know how to express my feeling about such absurdities without resorting to even more absurd cliché expressions. Yeah, it’s trans people who exhibit delusional instability.
Naturally I have to give the GSA huge kudos for doing the right thing by supporting a kid who wants to be a scout and learn from the principled traditions of the GSA. I wish it happened much sooner. I was subjected to the Boy Scouts; an experience only made bearable by my father’s presence at the majority of the camp-outs. The few times I ventured on my own were not exactly comfortable. My pack was inhabited by a lot of violent little monsters who liked to issue grave threats midway through a “nature hike” when the whiskey and weed came out. And true to the stereotype, my Scoutmaster was brought up on pedophilia charges, although I have to caveat that by saying I was neither victim nor witness. Getting to the point, being ‘not a boy’ in Boy Scouts was not an enriching experience. I would have been much more comfortable with the GSA, and felt a hell of a lot safer as well.
At the last Spectrum meeting I attended, the subject about honoring the GSA as the theme for our next Pride float came up. I completely agree they should be thanked and honored, but giving the matter further thought, I’m not sure having a bunch of middle age trans women dressing in tween and teen girl uniforms will send the message we want received. Given that I imagine we can only find adult sized scout uniforms in the same sort of store that sells ball gags, and that everyone knows this, the whole honoring concept can easily be taken the wrong way. I think the better route might be to issue warm and heartfelt thanks, and support those Girl Scouts who stood to be counted for doing the right thing in the face of adversity. Nothing says thanks like picking up 7 boxes of Samoa’s.