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Pride Protestors

Yeah, I know I talk about Pride Fest a lot, but it’s coming up soon, and if you can’t tell, I’m kind of jazzed about it. Now that we are on the same page, in case you were unsure of this before, let’s talk about the strange phenomena of people coming out to protest thousands of people celebrating together in the joyous harmony of self empowerment. Seriously, what’s up with that?

Last year as we stood around waiting for the parade to begin, my friend’s spouse came up to me and suggested we take a short walk and check out the other floats. After a little bit, she stopped me and said, “Michelle, there is something I need to warn you about…” Just great. I have probably been walking around all morning with the hem of my skirt tucked into my pantyhose. No, phew, that wasn’t it. “During the parade there are probably going to some groups of people shouting some really mean things, so I wanted to warn you so you aren’t surprised and have hurt feelings.” Can you believe how sweet that was? Really, I wanted to hug her on the spot it was so nice when she barely knew me and was already looking out for me. I assured her I would be just fine.

Sure enough, my side of the float passed by two small groups of people, with cardboard signs and nasty writing, plus megaphones for shouting out biblical verses and whatnot. Funny enough, they all looked like people one would naturally assume are in the hand painted sign and amplified ranting business. I was really tempted to jump off the float and dump some change in the hat I assumed they had in front of them. If anyone looked like they really needed a beer, it was these guys. Unfortunately, I was wearing the exact wrong shoes for vaulting off a moving vehicle, so reconciled myself to waving at them cheerfully and enthusiastically. Mooning would have also been fun, but that one guy who had been following the float from the get go and looked way, way too excited to see us was still there. He still had film left, even though I saw him reload his old timey camera like six times already.

I tried to get into the heads of these protesters and failed miserably. Clearly this wasn’t some kind of impromptu thing. They must have had the date and time marked on their calendars. They stayed up late the night before with their little pots of paint and repurposed sides of appliance boxes, using their open King James to make sure they got the wording and spelling just right-ish. That morning they woke up, loaded their cars up with the signs, hopefully dry by now, put fresh batteries in the megaphones, made sure they had some good zingers of quotes memorized right, found parking a mile away from the parade route, and set up early enough on a clear patch of sidewalk. Lots of time, energy, and even some cash just to… what?  Shout helplessly into the din of Gaga on every speaker? Hoping to get on the news? Receive a hand signed note of approval from that jackass Phelps? The reasoning is beyond my comprehension.

We can guess that this is something they feel Jesus wanted them to do, even though he didn’t have a big rep for razzing people from the sidelines. Even if this had a heavenly driver, I’d have to wonder what the big guy was thinking in the first place. I mean Pride Fest? I don’t think I saw many people there who looked even a smidge unsure of themselves. The tee shirts printed with ‘I Dunno, Can I Hear Both Some Gay and Super Duper Ultra Conservative Options Please?’ were pretty cold sellers. Buffalo isn’t exactly backwoods, so I imagine everyone in attendance was well aware already of the really crabby god these hucksters were flinging about willy nilly. I’m also guessing this wasn’t a onetime deal for them either, so I would think expectations could not have been good. You don’t have to be Einstein to know that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. And there you have it. Insane in the membrane. Case closed!

This year I think I’ll print up my own pamphlet to hand out to them. ‘You And Your Crabby God: 11 Ways To Please Him At Home (Not Here)’ I think they’ll like it.

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About michellelianna

I'm a transgender woman now in the maintenance stages of transition having all the electrolysis and surgery one can reasonably be expected to undertake. While busy exploring my new world, I took to blogging about it with dubiously popular results. I don't have quite as much to say as I used to, but I'm not quite done yet either.

8 responses »

  1. Pingback: Thanks For the Provocation, But I’m Good « Michellelianna

  2. Perhaps we can do what that North Carolina preacher suggested to do with GLBT’s and put them in a huge corral with an electrified fence and let them die off. The only problem with that, however, is that they can reproduce and unfortunately do. LOL!

    Reply
    • I’m reminded of an old ‘Far Side’ cartoon featuring a couple of cave bears fending off a group of hooting primitives with one bear saying to the other, “Cripes, I swear there are more of these things every year!” Not that bears are good analogies to us, but you get my drift.

      Love, Michelle

      Reply
  3. Religon can take a long walk you know where, Fath is what is really important. Jesus is the one who died on the cross for our sins not these people who are over compensating for something else they lack, (Compation) and they abuse the one gift that God gave us all,(Free Will) which they are using as a way to hate not enlighten. I’ll never forget my my own very first (Jeus hates you because you Gay pamplet) what a special momnet. God forgive me but they can blow a dead goat!!
    LOVE Tedie

    Reply
    • Yeah, I’m not very religious minded at all myself! I’m perfectly fine with people celebrating their own faith and allowing it to take deep meaning in their lives, but when they starting insisting their own particular, highly specific take should be the law of the land, I have a real problem. Who knows though, maybe reason, tolerance, and compassion will one way prevail? Not soon enough though!

      Love, Michelle

      Reply
  4. Michelle,
    Stop that! I’m trying to discreetly read this as I sit in the back of a conference room trying to listen to a research conference and get a little of my own research done at the same time. Bursting out laughing in this spot is definitely not cool.
    Very lighthearted and appropriate look at the haters who really need to get a hobby. I wonder what they really think their God wants of them. You would think they would know that God is busy working on game plans so the Tim Tebow can beat the Bills when the Jets come to town in the fall.

    Hugs,

    Becky

    Reply
    • Hey Becky!

      Hey, if I made you laugh in a crowded place then my post completed it’s mission! I am worried about Mr Tebow coming to town to face my beloved Bills. OK, not that I watch football, but they tar and feather you around here if you don’t preface ‘The Bills’ with beloved or something similar. It’s going to be rough because if I remember my bible correctly, Jesus takes a huge active interest in professional sports franchises, but he also tends to hugely favor whatever local area supplicants happen to be from. Nothing pisses him off more than conflicts of interest. If that were to actually happen where both sides are appealing to him rather than the usual set up where one group really needs his weigh in and the other is clearly on the side of pure evil (I’m assuming this is how it normally goes, right?), well, it might spell trouble. You know, good, it would be about time he finally steps in and calls a game before it starts. If he could just go ahead and pick his wins for the next decade or so, maybe my Tivo would actually catch a whole Simpson’s episode for a change. This is going to be sweet! 🙂

      Love, Michelle

      Reply
      • Hey Michelle,

        I’m glad to finally find somebody who understands the underlying theology behind sporting success. I understand the ‘beloved’ Bills thing. I’m from Packers country. I do enjoy football, but I always thought it a little over the top when people painted their cars, houses and even their dogs green and gold.

        Love,
        Becky

        Reply

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