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9 Unexpected Side Effects of Gender Transition

Hair in doorIt’s been an appropriately long time since I rolled out the last list and that one went over like a wet log rolled over an angry Rottweiler. After all of 4 people read it, I decided the jig was up for my droll little attempts to interject nearly nonsensical humor. Just yesterday it just occurred to me that I missed doing these because I enjoy writing them, so why on earth would I stop? It’s not like anyone is paying to me to do this. Although I delight in seeing my stats rise and when new readers subscribe, it doesn’t really buy me much.

So, no disrespect to you dear readers, especially those of you who read and lend insightful comments to my more serious fare, but sorry, today’s just not going to be your cup of tea here in Michelleliannaland. I guarantee that if such a land existed geographically, no one would spell or pronounce it correctly, so best it stays in my head. If you like to laugh, or better yet, like to laugh at me making a clumsy attempt to funny and coming off as an insufferable doof, then let’s get this pig a squealin’.

The following represents as many reasons I can think of in a short amount of time of things one might be expected to be surprised by when undergoing gender transition. I’m not admitting that any or all of these happened to me, but let’s be honest here. My ability to extrapolate to the theoretical is not exactly tip top.

1. Hair Trap: After years of keeping a high and tight haircut, or worse, enjoying a crushing descent into looking like Larry David, you probably want some hair that looks a little bit more feminine. Often times, this means length. For the blessed, this means years of letting it grow out and suffering through the awkward in between style where everyone is making you uncomfortable by constantly asking why you haven’t gotten a haircut. For the rest of us, it means buying a wig. After a lifetime of shorn follicles, getting used to longer hair can be an adjustment, specifically when it gets caught in stuff or worse. To date, I’ve now had my neck pulled after having it caught in car doors, my purse strap, the door to the house, and the dog. Worse, I had the ends and 4 inches up frizzled beyond repair after sticking my head in a way too hot oven. Every single time, I was surprised.

2. Breast Spillage: While still making appearances as a young gentleman, I was schooled that one wisely puts napkins in the lap when eating. A spillage of vanilla pudding on the crotch area is just something best avoided, regardless of the unlikelihood that I would ever order anything but chocolate. Now ensconced in female life, it seems apparent that placing a napkin on the lap does exactly jack shit towards preventing unsightly stains because it’s essentially the same as putting a drip pan underneath the oven instead of on the bottom rack. Not being always cognizant of this, the chance of walking around for the rest of the afternoon with a big glob of mayo in the old décolletage is a far better bet and much more noticeable.

3. Getting Hosed: Aside from dresses and skirts, the other article of clothing many of us associate strongly with femininity are pantyhose. The idea of walking around in them seems like it should have a very womanly appeal. Reality, however, has debunked this soundly. Other than trying to look a tad more formal and presentable at the office and events, or more likely to cover up ghost legs or the fact you haven’t shaved since Monday, they are something to be avoided. Rather than making one feel feminine, they instead convey the feeling of being a sausage. The waist band rolls down under your FUPA at the very start of long meetings, your feet won’t stop sweating, and getting a mid morning run will induce embarrassed anxiety until you waste your lunch hour running to the store.

4. Don’t Call Me Al: In spite of being on the “don’t fricking call me” list, I still get plenty of unsolicited calls due to the “charity” loophole. Apparently buying a new vacuum sight unseen from some doofus who can’t read a script over the phone is now a charity. They always ask for ‘Michael’ without fail. “Yes, I’m Michelle” This causes confusion especially since many of them are not legally allowed to solicit to anyone not on their golden list of names and a stalemate ensues. If I were smart, I would simply hang up the phone, but instead finding myself awkwardly explaining that “Michael” is no longer here, but Michelle is, without giving too much away. Out of frustration, I generally end up giving the whole story to this disinterested dingleberry I have no intention of giving money to.

5. That Time of the Month: If sources local to my vicinity are to be believed, I now go through stretches of a few days each month where I come across “a little bitchy”. Personally, I prefer the null hypothesis which posits that everyone around me during those periods has suddenly turned unaccountably stupid and annoying, including inanimate objects that pick just that time to rebel and refuse to heed my wishes. Lacking a uterus, ovaries, and menstrual cycle, I found the concept to be preposterous before starting this transition, but the results seem to be speaking for themselves. As my hormone doses are very steady state, I have to assume that the universe found one more way to give me the finger, hopefully right before giving it a rest for a while.

6. All Fired Up: Without question, ‘Chicago Fire’ is one of the best new shows to debut last fall and I immediately became an ardent follower. At some point over the winter, however, it occurred to me that I really shouldn’t be getting that excited because a show about firemen was on. I asked around at work to see who else watched it, and the answer always came back “no” or “yes because my wife does” from all men, and “yes” from a lot of women. Of the latter, a discussion of whether one liked Casey or Severide better was not uncommon. The fact that I was able to add to that discussion came to a surprise to me. This little change of mine is having more effects than I anticipate. And are you crazy? Severide! I mean look at him.

7. And In The News Today…: I really should have seen this coming, but ever since I came out, any time trans anything is mentioned in the news, multiple people send me links to the story, or in the case of more old fashioned people, cut the article out and mail it to me. “Did you see Dateline last night? One of your people was on there!” Don’t get me wrong, I think this is incredibly sweet and it touches me deeply that people think to do this. I just have to wonder if this happens to any other demographic. Did this happen to gays before they became part of the normal landscape? If I came down with Lupus, would I get a dozen emails telling me someone with Lupus was going to be on Letterman that night? Very thoughtful, but still a bit of a surprise.

8. Gender Amnesia: This is a little embarrassing, but sometimes when people refer to me in my presence as ‘she’ or even ‘Michelle’, I don’t understand they are talking about me right away. I put forth an enormous effort to transition, throw an internal hissy fit any time someone uses the wrong pronoun or name, and then come across as a huge ditz when people comply with ease. “Let’s go over this… you are going to set up the meeting and she’s going to present.” Wait…who is going to present? “You are the only woman here…” Right…right. I hope this will clear up in time, and before the general consensus drops my IQ by 30 points.

9. Waterworks: For 2 decades I operated under the assumption that my tear ducts had been uninstalled during the Regan administration. As it turns out; not so. While I’m not yet at the point where I can cry at paper towel commercials, I did burst into tears just this past weekend because my Kindle wouldn’t turn on. If I’m watching anything on TV where something bad happens to a child, forget about it. How was I so callous and jaded before to just sit stone faced when really sad things happened to imaginary people? I have no idea. I am, however, now terrified that my old belief that no one at work has the power to make me cry is simply untrue. I really need to see about working from home.

I’m certain there are at least another 9 surprises I’m either not thinking of, or are just waiting to bite me in the ass in the near future, but this this will do for now. Please feel free to share in the comments section that I have taken a sacred vow to catch up on very shortly.

About michellelianna

I'm a transgender woman now in the maintenance stages of transition having all the electrolysis and surgery one can reasonably be expected to undertake. While busy exploring my new world, I took to blogging about it with dubiously popular results. I don't have quite as much to say as I used to, but I'm not quite done yet either.

75 responses »

  1. I think I caught a Sopranos allusion there in that paper towel commercial remark. 🙂

  2. ctrlaltdeeleet

    I like this lol. You have a funny perspective.

  3. As a guy with long hair I can definitely relate, I’m always getting it caught in things and when I light fires in my back garden I singe off bits at the front. upkeeping it is a pain in the neck (the constant brushing! no-one ever told me about the brushing!) as I say, pain in the neck but totally worth it!

  4. Yes, if you have other things like Lupus or something, people will send you articles, tell you that a show is on, etc. From personal experience 🙂 Love your list! Especially the pantyhose!

  5. Even though my transition has been the other direction, I can still relate to some of these things, especially the gender amnesia. Humorous and well-written!

  6. Very insightful and interesting read. Totally can relate to the hair stuff. I love my long hair, but it is always in the way. I once actually inhaled my own hair and briefly was choked by it. I do envy my husband’s short hair at times like those.

  7. Great writing. Interesting nuances of perspective too. 🙂 Everything else is said…

  8. The mental changes have affected me a lot honestly. I cry at almost everything right now from either watching a sad commercial, or just listening to music on the radio LOL. I was kind of emotional before my transition but even more so after my HRT.

  9. Do you notice how everybody smiles more at you but when you were male you were invisible?

  10. I enjoyed it 🙂

    • nearlynormalized

      How many years did you spend with your maleness? (Physical) It is going to take some time for your adjustment, more power to you. Welcome; stay strong and brave.

      • Oh, sorry, I don’t have plans to change gender, but I still have an interest in following your blog 🙂 I have a lot of respect for people who stand up for what they believe and what they are. Thumbs up from me 🙂

  11. That was actually quite funny. Don’t feel bad about having trouble being a woman, after 22 years I still don’t know how to do my hair.

  12. Real thoughtful blog there. Rather calling it unexpected side-effects, I’d call it “Post-elements of Gender transition” 😉

    I just read Gold Rush on Everest!

  13. pantyhose are eeeeevillllllll. and i don’t care what people think, wearing tights doesn’t actually keep you warm in winter!

  14. A great read – thanks!

  15. This made my day. It’s fun and the sense of humor is just cool!

  16. Very interesting and as a woman-hilarious! Thank you for sharing and please keep doing so 🙂

  17. I love your sense of humor! I wish you the best going forward! I look forward to reading more! 🙂

  18. 2. Breast Spillage, I can definately relate to this one. Can be very very embarassing indeed.

  19. This is awesome!!! I completely understand the long hair thing…and while I don’t get newspaper clippings sent to me in the mail…anytime someone hears something about social work…I’m the first one they think about (my sister actually had horrific thoughts after seeing a social worker die in a movie…she just wanted to warn me about my job). I’m excited to read about your journey and to see the next 9 surprises!!!

  20. Pingback: 9 Unexpected Side Effects of Gender Transition | Touch your LIFE with LOVE!

  21. Hilarious, love it 🙂 I just started my blog, am focusing on LGBT issues, if you’re interested 🙂

  22. EleneSallinger

    Nice list! And yes, only men think pantyhose are fun. I loved the stuffed sausage reference, so true. Now garters and stockings are a whole ‘nother world. I highly recommend those. Very sexy and like wearing a naughty secret under your clothes. The best for every day wear can be found at

  23. I’d like to think you find more enlightened minds in the WordPress World. Great post btw, I don’t know any woman who doesn’t get their hair stuck in something. I’ve had it stuck in cake, doorways and in some (cute) guy’s watch. Now I’ve given up and wear a hijab 😀

  24. Great post. While I personally am cysgendered I have many friends who’ve come out/are in various stages of transition. I loved your humor and insite! Can’t wait to read more of what you write.

  25. That was fun. Specially when you need a second to remember your gender. Well, welcome! It’s not like we used panty hose since birth, we felt like sausages too.

  26. Panty hose! A girl’s best friend and her worst enemy! And spaghetti is the WORST date food! Never wear white when eating spaghetti haha.

  27. Two things about hose:

    1) Stash clear nail polish in strategic places or in a formal wear “emergency kit.” Lacquer the runs in the hose, and they won’t get any bigger. Good for when you can’t run to a store.

    2) If leg hair gets long enough, hose will not conceal the no-shave look. Hairs just end up poking through and you’ll look like a very feminine porcupine from the knees down.

    Congrats on being freshly pressed!

  28. I worked with transgenders before in a clinic where they underwent transition and I loved it. Some hormones may make you angry or upset but the outcome of it was a beautiful thing. I am a straight female but I love all transgenders and thank them for beng them and not worrying about what people think or say!!!

  29. Absolutely hilariously wonderful! I think many of the best blog posts I’ve ever read are written when people write what they want to write, regardless of what it seems their regular readers want, and this is one of them. Congratulations on Freshly Pressed.

  30. Pingback: 9 Unexpected Side Effects of Gender Transition « Ray Africa Consultants

  31. rofl…had me in splits….napkin doesnt help, but maybe a posture with your back behind and crying at the drop of the hat…
    real funny stuff.
    thanks for sharing and congrats on being freshly pressed.

  32. To answer #7:

    Yeah, back in the ’90s, people constantly sent me articles about being lesbian. Also, I was expected to explain why famous lesbians did what they did. Also to know when they would be performing where. (So weird.)

    I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. But I got a heck of a lot of copies of the Newsweek Lesbian Chic story.

  33. Pantyhose! Womenly? Maybe. Feminine? No way! You do feel like a sausage in them though which is the real reason behind coming across ‘a little bitchy’ ;-)..

  34. lostteach2013

    You had me at firemen. I could go for eye candy firemen. 😉 Great post.

  35. Very well written and funny. Keep up the good work 🙂 Such a refreshing viewpoint.

  36. I think that I am going to copy paste and quote your bit about the PMS! (please) I have a quote thing. There is something to be said about that blunt honesty without whining mincing or having to hide it. If I could just express all of those things all of the time, the number of times that I blew out because the impulse control was blotto over the little whores moaning and I needed to let everyone know how much they do not appreciate the discretion that I use ALL of the time! (stamps foot) There seem to be so many women who just view this as a character flaw and rather seem to want to hide(it or themselves). I cut my hair off, I always get tangled up in it and choke me in my sleep. sigh

  37. This had me laughing out loud. A great read — and congratulations on being freshly pressed!

  38. This is pretty funny…the morning run in the hose causes me stress too. I love your viewpoint.

  39. #1 – I once got my hair caught in a sunroof on a windy day. Also, you may find at some point that your hair has attacked your vacuum cleaner, coiling itself around the roller brush so tightly that the poor appliance can no longer do its job until you go at it with scissors.

    #2 – Lean in. That’s not a metaphor.

    #5 – This one fascinates me. Do you think you really are more emotional a few days a month, or do you think people perceive you that way and then treat you differently because of it (maybe attributing things you say to “that time of the month” instead of actually listening to you), causing a vicious spiral?

  40. As a woman wandering over after you were Freshly Pressed (congratulations, by the way!):

    1. Yes. The number of times I have had to reopen a car door because I can now no longer move my head.

    2. Completely. Learn to eat with your back straight and your head over the plate – any falling food lands back on the plate. My mum has not yet learned this. Or tuck a napkin in the neckline…

    3. Goodness, people think hose are *feminine*?! Good grief. No. They are not. They are worn for a purpose, not for feeling good in. Ever. Trust me, those descriptions are very apt. Plus they make your feet smell.

    Plus 7. Yes, if someone has lupus, other friends will point out the programme or the article. I know this.

    As to number 5: Goodness me! Really?! Never knew that, never even thought of that. Wow. Didn’t know my transgendered neighbour well enough to have noticed anything cyclical. Welcome to the fun of hormones!!

  41. themodernidiot

    hilarious! finally, some transgender information that is real without being “oh, alas! pauvre moi!” keep up the good work!

  42. I’m kind of worried about #9, because I haven’t even started transitioning yet, and I have always been super emotional about everything and it’s not hard to make me cry.

  43. Everything rings true!! And yes, we need to laugh at it all (except when we’re crying), and then cry because we’re laughing at it and it Matters – *OK*?! (sorry, time of the month). 🙂

  44. I’ve been insisting for the longest time I had pms and no one believed me. /)

  45. lol, I never needed to transition just to be able to cry from watching sad things; that has always been how I am.

    Since I always had long hair even before transition I never have any difficulty with it, I don’t get it caught in too many things.

    And of course I have always been aware of table manners and the real danger that once can get something on an article of clothing if you are not careful. I really don’t have this problem though because I am careful when I eat and I always have napkins on hand.

    I basically watch many great shows that people enjoy talking about, some of them are more geared towards women in which case we have a fun time chatting about them and others are more attractive to a general audience so I just talk to all my friends and loved ones about them and that is even more fun.

    Okay so actually people don’t send me anything when someone trans is in the news because well, no one really knows anymore. It’s not that I am ashamed of being the way I am and if people did find out I’d just be like okay so I am, what of it? But I transitioned to be a normal girl and not some special group that always needs to be talked about.

    Gender amnesia is also not an issue because even before I transitioned I knew I was a girl, in fact I had the problem of constantly slipping up and referring to myself as female and getting confused questions as a result. When one addresses me correctly it is simply normal and of course I know I am being spoken about if however they misgender me, well that is a case of me not knowing what the hell they are talking about.

  46. Desiree J Terrebonne

    Well written, I cry at good food commercials, especially the ones for chocolate!
    I love the one post made on how you can handle telemarketing calls!
    Do stay true to your inner guidance sisters…

  47. Being trans does have some unexpected drawbacks, fortunately, I wore very long hair as a professional stunt person in a wild west show, I knew all about catching long hair in the door etc, Today, I am more familiar with pinning my hair to my shoulder on a very short leash known as a handbag strap.

    And that time of the month. More trans women I know (including me) every month, around the usual time, PMS, Cramps, Bloating, backache, migraines, moodiness yay its such fun to be a girl (wouldn’t trade it for the world).

    There is a lot we put up with, not because we are trans women, but because we ARE women. Having your opinion dismissed because “What would a woman know about that anyway” i.e. Tech matters, well, anything a man feels superior in and is threatened if there is a errant female threatening his delicate little ego.

    Groped in public. C’mon fer gosh sakes, I am 55, a little pudgy with a small butt – ETF are you guys grabbing at. It is, however, very rewarding when I spin and tower over them by a couple of inches and get up in their face. I am 6 ft, without heels.

    Great list. I am sure we could all add something but you have the basics well covered.

  48. Onh Lordy can i relate to number’s 5 & 9

  49. Jessica Lynn Jones

    A thoughly pleasant and funny read!
    I can see my self with u in almost all these!
    Thx for sharing!

  50. RE: “Don’t Call Me Al”

    I know a work-around for this!

    Somehow my unlisted number got added to various call centres and other telepests that YOU DON’T KNOW. They always tend to call around dinner time with the idea that that’s when you’re likely to be there. I found the perfect response is this:


    If I have the radio on or music playing I turn it off.

    ME: Hello
    VOICE: Hello, Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah (INSERT SPIEL HERE).
    ME: I’m sorry, who do you want to talk to?


    ME: What did you want to talk to her about?
    VOICE: Doesn’t matter what they say.
    ME: I’m sorry but this is a Private Hospital. Ms Seabrook is unable to take calls at the moment.


    ME: What did you want to talk to her about?
    VOICE: Doesn’t matter what they say.
    ME: Oh I’m sorry, she worked on reception here until two weeks ago. I think she was dismissed for misusing the phones here.

    IF THEY CAN’T GIVE A NAME, OR MAKE A CLAIM LIKE “Our records show that you were involved in a car accident six months ago” (that is, obvious bogus scam):

    ME: Who do you want to talk to?


    See the one thing that these pests can’t stand is WASTING THEIR TIME. Simpler solutions include asking them to just wait for a second while you close a door/window, and then put the phone in a desk draw. The solutions above also work because they convince the caller that you number is NOT a private one, but a business that won’t be buying what they’re trying to sell. Either way they’ll delete the number because calling it again is wasting their time.

    • I once threw a curse on a guy who phoned me – told him his genitals would atrophy and ulcerate and he would stink from the infection, it would happen as soon as I lit my black candle, etc. etc. He got flustered and hung up on me, lost his place on the list of numbers and rang me back, I told him he was already in my power…. click! Burrrr…. No problems since. Tony

  51. “…one of your people …” was on dateline? well, can you say ‘patronizing’? I bet you can. and if “one of your people” happened to be RufreekinPaul or Dame Edna MuckinEverage, i’da responded with a hella lecture. But if maybe it was Chaz Bono or Jenny Boylan i guess it would be kinda a well intentioned grammatical lapse and let it go. Still…. :/

  52. You’re past four comments now!! 🙂

    Well…let’s see…

    #1 Yep, and it’s tickly in the wind, and I end-up eating mine regularly. Early-on I wondered if “real women” went through this too, but was not yet secure enough in my femininity to ask!

    #2 Strike Two!! It’s just a fact of our “boobosity” – I’ve taken to wearing napkins like bibs. AND I never cook or eat things like spaghetti in anything but a dark top! (Love your use of the word ‘décolletage’)

    #3 Agreed, BUT when it’s cold out, these are help much more than you might imagine! (Something I learned when I was still living as a man!!) Now I know the answer to the question: “ma’m? don’t you feel cold on this windy winter day in only a skirt??”

    #4 We get calls from people trying to sell us investment “stuff.” We don’t have time or money for this:

    Caller: My I speak with Brett Blatchley please? (sounds like a handsome hunk)

    Me: Hi! I’m Renée; Brett isn’t available, but I can help you. (sweetly)

    Caller: I’m sorry ma’m but I really need to speak with Mr. Blatchley. (urgent!)

    Me: Well, I am who Brett has become, so may I help you please?

    Caller: Ummmm….ah…..uhhhhh…..oh-s{click!!!!}

    Wow! If I knew that’s how I could get rid of these calls, I’d have changed sex ages ago!!

    #5 My (female) spouse insists this is happening with me too, and my transdermal-“ovaries” put-out steady!!

    #6 This is scary: I’m asexual and I’m starting to find men “cute.”

    #7 YES!!!

    #8 Gender-gymnastics are hard even for us. Sometimes, in my internal talk, I still call myself “Brett” (which relatives insist on doing), and even worse, I will rarely slip and refer to myself in the masculine – HOW EMBARRASSING!!! (BUT, I’m dreaming with me as woman now!!)

    #9 Oh, God, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! It happens at the drop of a hat now!!

    #10 Now I’m starting to giggle as my voice continues to transition!!

    **Thank You** for sharing these Michelle!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    • readingwritinglawyer

      “real women” as you put it, DEFINITELY have the same problem with hair. Especially when it’s windy. Most aggravating thing about being female ever.

      • Indeed, I shaved my head at one point because it was so irritating; then wore a Mohawk for several years before growing my hair back out.

        Décolletage is an issue for some of us born female trust me. I frequently want to move them or forget them and end up saying “ow!” or knocking something over. They drive me nuts sometimes.

        I quit wearing hose when I quit modeling, they are horrible. I use them for interviews and few other things. Besides, they were for men initially 🙂

        “One of your people” and similar comments about many groups are all too common and usually a subtle degradation in the minds of the recipient. I had a long list of people recommend one movie to me based on my flexible sexuality…it was horrible and uncomfortable to watch.

        Getting your name wrong can happen to many of us for many reasons 🙂 Internal personal concepts or identities, pseudonyms for work or art, marriage, business names, just crazy, more of us do it than like to admit it. At least you get the singular part right 😉

        Love the post.

      • A solution for the windy hair – if it’s long enough, wrap a scarf around your neck with your hair underneath until you get where you’re going. Too hot out for a scarf? Sunglasses will at least keep it out of your eyes. ❤

        That said, I still eat mine too sometimes or it gets stuck in my lip gloss. Yuck!

  53. Omg the crying. Its a little silly at times. I got a migraine the other day and couldn’t stop crying. Why? I have no idea.

    Please teach me how to girl!

    (Secretly, I actually love it)

  54. Yay! I have been bumping into number 8 recently. I think it’s another side to just plain forgetting that I’ve transitioned. It’s just my life and the obvious fact that I’ve changed how I live it just flat escapes me! My stepdaughter was a house guest an she invited an old friend over. I’ve know her for years and completely forgot that she hadn’t seen me since I had transitioned. We’re chatting away and gabbing about the usual things, having a good time.

    The next morning my step daughter tells me that her friend was really impressed by how comfortable I was. I looked puzzled and she told me that they had both thought I would be shy and cautious “meeting” her again. I had just stopped keeping the inventory of who hadn’t “been exposed” and who had! It’s just not on my mind any more!!! So no more tentative greetings, no more talking about changes, just me being me un-selfconciously!

    Enjoy, Dianne

  55. #1 Well, long hair doesn’t tangle as much.

  56. Reblogged this on Jenna Is Me and commented:
    Nothing to add. Just a funnily written post with a lot of truth bombs.

  57. Hey Hi! The List was awesome! I, at the more bedinning stages or slowly undertaking transition, will take heed of this rather humorous view. The hair thingy spoke out in volumes to me. As many, many ppl have asked about the length of my hair on my head and noticing the lack there of on the rest of me. My answer to the quisical eye is simply ” Growing while I still can”! I am sure tht doesn’t cut it, but timing is everything! lol Thanks Michelle for posting this, it gave me a nice giggle this morning. Admittedly I need to catch up on yr recent postings.

    Huggs Kristine >^_^<

  58. Michelle, I’m a casual, nonsubscribed reader and I almost always love and can relate to what you write. This time, number 7 is particularly familiar. I used to say “thanks, already saw it” and then they feel the need to apologize but now I just say “oh thank you!” because I know that they’ll respond better to that. :p

    Anyway, thank you for writing. I wish I did this sort of thing, if only to keep a journal of my own transition, but I never feel like I’m interesting enough. :p

  59. well said :)) keep on your hard work dear :)) (y)


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