“Just so you know, links to your blog are zipping around the building.” It’s not exactly the kind of thing I was expecting to hear from my boss mid afternoon yesterday. Yikes. Well, that’s a hell of a thing. OK, I did kind of know because it’s been mentioned to me enough times already, but anyone who knows me should understand by now that I have the ability to mentally gloss over inconvenient truths until I figure out how to deal with them. No, no, no.. that was the old way. Let’s just do this.
My first thought is that I should start sounding more like “Work Michelle”, but that simply isn’t going to cut it here. For one, Work Michelle is about as interesting as the row of desiccated apples I keep on my desk for some reason. Really, I do, and it’s not a trans thing or anything. Trust me; I’m odd on my own, completely separated from this whole transition business. I think I’m going to keep things the same, but I’ll use this opportunity to put a couple of clarifications in print to keep everyone square and indemnify myself from fucking things up too badly.
The original intent of this blog project was to put some thoughts to print as a way of working things out for myself. Kind of a thinking out loud deal where I don’t get strange looks wandering the mall, or barring that, stranger looks. To my surprise, people started reading my hastily scrawled posts and commenting, so I switched gears and used it as a shaky platform to address trans issues either I didn’t understand or had my own spin on. Kind of a ‘By Trans For Trans’ thing like FUBU, but without a pronounceable acronym. Because of this, I tend to use a heaping load of jargon most people don’t have any reason whatsoever to know unless they got stuck talking to me in person for a while and I wouldn’t shut up about it.
Now I know there are cisgender people lurking here as well. Most of them probably never even knew they were cisgender, and even now filling up with resentful rage because they think I’m calling them names. Let me nip that one right now. Yes, I know for sure that I’m pissing off other trans folks all the time, mainly because they tell me directly, but that’s OK because sometimes that is exactly what I’m trying to do. For those of you not trans, none of my clever little digs are aimed at you, and if it seems they are, understand that I tend to say a lot in jest. Yes, yes, I know, “Much truth is said in jest”, so don’t get all Shakespherical on me. All of jest is also said in jest, so when in doubt, that is the final answer.
Since it was never my intention to be a source of education on trans issues, and I don’t really want to make this blog about that, please understand this site is not exactly Trans 101, but instead is like picking up a 4th year calculus text with the exception of not being smart or accurate. I will, however, draft up a glossary later this weekend and make another tab for easy reference, and also try to figure a way to wedge in a small presentation if Christina [ahem!] ever gets around to sending it to me.
To sum it all up, at work, I’ll be at work and probably not nearly as entertaining. Here, everyone is welcome, but please understand that blog stuff is blog stuff and is in no way intended to be a reflection upon the secretive yet delightful company I work for but won’t be mentioning by name here. I ask everyone does the same please. Finally, although I write in good fun, try to see the lighter side of things, make half assed attempts to be funny and all that, from time to time I do post on some heavier topics that are really aimed at the trans crowd. I’m never doing this to look for sympathy or make anyone uncomfortable, but the trans population has much to discuss and here is where I got comfortable doing it.
Finally, (yes, I said finally a few times already, but I don’t have time to back edit and keep thinking of more things as I ramble on), if anyone is here looking for a good idea of what to expect in the near future, you can expect me. Same me, same sense of humor, same work ethic (if not even better), but looking just a tiny bit different. I was never super comfortable being the center of attention, and although this transition business kind of deep sixed that for a while, my feeling about it really hasn’t changed. As I can see it, none of this really has to be hard, and I’m open to discuss anything. 🙂